Veteran's Voice ‘No such thing as a mail buoy’

Every group of people have stories, and for Navy sailors those stories are sea stories. I first heard the term “sea stories” while I was in bootcamp when our recruit division commanders (RDCs) would tell us amazing stories about life in the fleet—stories that felt too fantastical to be real. Some would live on for decades after the real event happened becoming more exaggerated and embellished upon each telling. 

One such story happened when my friend Peterson told me about a prank played on him on another boat (in this case, a fast attack submarine). Two of his friends were tasked with maintaining the radiation exposure suits nicknamed canary suits. They decided to don the suits. Seeing how strange they looked to one another, they decided to wake up their friend Peterson. Navy bunk beds are three tall and line both sides of a very narrow corridor. Each bunk has its own blue curtain on a rod that slides closed for privacy while you are sleeping. Peterson was sleeping on the top bunk when two of his shipmates opened the curtain waking him with their strange plastic mask breathing. When he woke up one of them exclaimed, "Oh my God, this one's still alive!"' Peterson said the two of them collapsed into laughter so hard they could barely stand while he was still trying to figure out whether the ship had suffered a radiation accident. 

Another story I remember was “Bunting and the Mail Buoy.” As you saw from the last story, we all go by our last names in the Navy and my friend Bunting was the victim of this legendary prank. Bunting was told it was his turn to retrieve the mail buoy. Our senior shipmate explained that the submarine would surface soon to retrieve an airdropped buoy containing all the crew's mail. He was outfitted in a massive cold weather one piece suit called a pumpkin suit, given a life vest, a boat hook, a whistle, and anything else that could be put on him. He then stood at attention under the hatch waiting for the order to surface the ship. He could feel himself sweating under all of that gear and after about an hour, a chief walked by. When asked why he was standing under the hatch underway, Bunting told him he was to retrieve the mail buoy. The chief just shook his head and walked away, stating, "There's no such thing as a mail buoy." 

These stories of ours remind us of who we were together. They are windows into another lifetime ago – a time when our family and our coworkers were one and the same. When they were originally told, we were usually on watch working together, maintaining our depth and speed in an endless dark void with only each other to look to for comfort. Those stories which may seem a bit dark now gave us something to share and laugh about, and still pique my interest all these years later. 

Nathan Kubes is a U.S. Navy veteran and the Adjutant of the American Legion Post 54 in Gunnison.  He enjoys sharing stories of military service, veterans, and community, believing the best history is often found in the people who lived it.